I cannot send a message to a group with a lot of people. I think that this is somewhat particular to me but I
have been thinking that sending a message to a big discord server or an IRC community feels overwhelming.
Maybe you have been in a similar situation to the following: You are typing a message and then reading it and
re-reading it but not being able to click send. Just waiting to get enough courage, but my mind starts to get the
best of me. And I understand that a lot of people do not feel troubled with messaging in this way, but I do and I
wanted to share this.
The place where I stand right now wants to engage with big communities and contribute to places I like. But time
and time again I feel compelled to reach out to another person with a private message instead of in public because I
am not sure how people are going to react to that particular message that I wrote.
Another thing that tends to happen to me is that I feel as if everyone is going to read the message. This at
first does not feel like a problem, but little by little my mind starts to think of the possible ifs. Suddenly I
realize that people could misinterpret what I’m trying to say. The rollercoaster of emotions starts from there and I
delete the comment that I was planning to put out to the world.
The advice that I always get from people is to not overthink what I am going to send. But dealing with this is
not always that simple.
When you start talking in front of someone you have a lot of different queues. But with a message, you only hope
that what you wrote is interpreted by the rest as what you were thinking.
This is something that I have been dealing with for my entire life with the internet. From my early childhood,
and now in my twenties I feel like meeting people in person is just simpler and more convenient. You do not have to
fight with the little rituals that have developed with online communication. When you meet someone and they are in
front of you. The conversation flows way faster than online, and all of the visual queues that people make just make
it simpler to talk to others.
In conclusion, I feel that I am an introvert in the digital world but way more extroverted in real life. This
immediate feedback of seeing people and looking at their faces I think is the biggest reason why I do not like that
much the conversations in big chat groups. In a sense, I do not feel connected with these communities because part
of their humanity is left behind, and just their thoughts stand. But I want to work on that, and maybe someday, feel
the courage and be an extrovert online.